Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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