Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
