I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
