Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
