This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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