On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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