Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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