Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize