you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
