We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
