Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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