After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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