the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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