90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
