she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
