If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
