So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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