he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize