It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
