How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
