i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm like, not good at living.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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