the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
