I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
