this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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