We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize