My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
