She said her name was "party"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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