I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am spending my child support on dildos
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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