oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
