a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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