Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
