Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
