I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
