i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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