there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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