Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
