The maid of honor just puked.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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