I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
