Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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