Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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