I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
