You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize