I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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