just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
