It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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