She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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