Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
