I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
