is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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