Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
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