that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
