I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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