Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
