I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
