Plan B is the new Plan A
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
