If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize