I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
