Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
