capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
