anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
