Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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