Barsexuality is the new black.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
