he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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