i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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